Woohoo! Taylor Swift & Tom Hiddleston are OVER! What Happened to the Weirdest Couple Ever?

We are holding a total celebration right now because the thing we’ve been dreaming of for three months has happened: Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston have broken up.

Yes, ever since the pictures surfaced of them sucking face on a rock outside Swift’s Rhode Island home earlier this year, we thought their relationship was utterly disgusting and creepy. Mostly because we think Taylor Swift is utterly disgusting and creepy.

Frankly, we don’t care why the split occurred, but some of the possibilities are just plain hilarious. Here are some of our favorites gathered from various dregs of the Internet:

• The whole thing was a PR stunt. They signed a contract for a 90-day relationship, and now that the 90 days are up, they are bailing out.
• It WAS real love, but Hiddleston realized Taylor Swift was tainting his pristine reputation as the Internet’s ideal boyfriend, thus hurting his career options.
• Hiddleston was angry at Swift for being flirty with other men and not acting like she was in a relationship.
• Swift hated that her new beau wanted to be so public with their relationship. He even (gasp!) invited her to be his date to the Emmys.

The one option we immediately discounted is the last one. Apparently a source told the Daily Mail that “Tom’s need for their relationship to be so public so quickly makes her uncomfortable. She tried to be OK with it in the beginning but fears he is in love with the idea of her and not falling in love with her for the right reasons.”

Yeah. Freakin’. Right. If anyone is known for calculating every little photograph in the media and whatnot, it’s Taylor Swift.

Related: Taylor Swift Thinks Tom Hiddleston is ‘The One’ (Oh, Pleeease)

Read more to see what we think really happened to Hiddleswift (plus bonus shirtless Hiddleston):